Julia Roberts factor: This category represents the likelihood that a female will enjoy this film. Often, this factor is proportionate to the number of occurrences of any of the following: kissing; saying "I love you"; manipulating all human emotions; Mel Gibson's naked butt; shedding tears; or anything starring Julia Roberts. Men, do not avoid movies with a high "Julia Roberts factor". These are great relationship medicine. Macho factor: This represents the probability that a guy will really dig this flick. Often, this category is the formulaic results of the total number of minutes the following appear on the screen: fire; naked women; bombs; explosions; military equipment; blood; bathroom humor; and sports. If a tank appears in the movie, by default it receives 5 popcorns. If a naked man appears on the screen it automatically receives 0 popcorns...but can be cancelled out by the appearance of a naked woman. Women....do not avoid movies with a high macho factor. Displaying enthusiasm during scenes of any of the above will get you a big hug. Saying "hell yeah" when something explodes might get you a "you sure are a cool chick," and giggling during scenes of on-screen flatulence is sure to encourage him to scoot just a little closer to you on the couch. Babysitter factor: Child-friendliness. This one is a bit confusing so pay attention. Due to liability issues, this category does not solely represent the cleanliness or lack of adult subject matter of the movie. That is best left up to you as we don't want to be responsible for your child's 3-state killing spree after watching Natural Born Killers. The babysitter factor is the quotient of child entertainment divided by adult content. A high babysitter factor means you can feel confident in using this movie as a babysitter for your child for hours. It will have that elusive blend of abundant child entertainment coupled with the lack of GDs, MFs and on-screen breastage. For simplicity's sake, the babysitter factor applies to kids between the ages of 6-10. Examples of movies with high babysitter factors are Spy Kids and any Disney Movie. Get Lucky factor: Could also be called the "Romantic factor" or the "Date factor". For chick's concerns, the higher the Get Lucky factor, the more it is like Ghost or When Harry Met Sally. For guy's concerns, the higher the Get lucky factor, the better your chances of getting lucky. In-law factor: Guys, never watch a movie with a low In-law factor with your wife's mom or dad! Or with your own mother! If a movie stars Pauly Shore or is entitled American Pie it will have a low in-law factor and would be safer to watch with your children than with your in-laws. Heed the advice on this one! Of Mice and Men factor: Just like Julia Roberts factor, but different. Careful with this one Guys! A movie with a high Of Mice and Men factor is very sad and depressing and should be avoided at all costs during bouts of depression, between prozac refills and most importantly every 28 days. Most movies with a high Of Mice and Men factor will probably concurrently score very high on the Julia Roberts factor scale since it involves shedding tears. For an example of a movie with a high Of Mice and Men factor, watch Of Mice and Men (1992). Enough said! Wrap-up factor: This category rates the climax of a particular movie. As a general rule, any movie with a surprise ending, a major plot twist or just an overall unique ending will have a high wrap-up factor. If, after watching the movie, you say "Son-of-a-bee-yatch! I didn't see that coming!" it automatically receives 5 popcorns. Examples of movies with high wrap-up factor ratings are Usual Supects, Limbo, Frailty and The Crying Game. Se7en factor: Remember the feeling after watching Se7en? Every once in a while a movie has such an effect on you your idle thoughts become occupied by what you just experienced. You replay the horrific climax over and over in your mind. You just can't shake the memory, and the despair becomes overwhelming. This category is a reflection of the likelihood that this movie will deeply scar your psyche. Some examples of movies with a high Se7en factor are Silence of the Lambs, Leaving Las Vegas, Paradise Lost, and obviously Se7en. Reel rating: This is the granddaddy of all the Reel Reviews rating categories. If you don't buy into any any of the other rating categories for helping you make a movie watching decision, you must pay attention to this one. The higher the number, the better the movie, plain and simple. This factor is independent of any of the other rating categories and stands alone as the movie's "final grade".