Movie Review - Beowulf


Reel rating:						2/5

Reel commentary: ... probably Hollywood's most successful rendition of the authorless tale, but in a way that's kind of like saying the '70s rock group KISS used to put on one of the greatest rock and roll stage shows. Behind the mask, both are just overly-hyped, mediocre bits ... full review

Movie Review

By Frank Wilkins

There's a reason the Old English poem Beowulf has been around – in one form or another – for some 1,300 odd years. Its story is that powerful and timeless. Forget the countless hours you spent reading and rereading the nearly indecipherable text in freshman lit., and realize that hidden within the pretentious droll and fragmented pentameter is the stuff of legends - the foundation for all our modern superheroes, from Conan to Superman to the Incredible Hulk. While Robert Zemeckis successfully incorporated many of the original's central themes – things like Motherly love, corruption of the soul, and conflict between good and evil - into his adaptation, unfortunately what he forgot was human spirit and emotional connection. Sure, he tried... but all hope was lost with his decision to utilize motion capture technology to recreate the world of Viking kings, fire-breathing dragons and seductive reptiles.

The technology - which Zemeckis also used in 2004's The Polar Express - involves suiting the actors in lycra body stockings which then digitally translate the actors' movements and expressions into near-realistic renditions of living breathing humans. Operative word here being "near-realistic." What's actually created is some unearthly replicant that falls somewhere between Cabbage Patch doll and glassy-eyed wall-mounted deer head. Sure, it looks cool and the technology is indeed impressive, but we want stories with more emotional heft. We know and appreciate the technology that can make a computerized rendition of Angelina Jolie that is just as sexy as the real thing, but can you give it the same soul and human presence? If not, then let the real-life shapelier half of Brangelina do the acting.

The deformed monster Grendel terrorizes King Hrothgar's kingdom.

All images copyright © 2007 Paramount Pictures

Screenwriters Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary employ most of the epic poem's basic plot points, but bridge many of the gaps in the original story with some innovative, modernized twists which manage to spice things up a bit. In a mist-shrouded Danish Kingdom ruled by the buffoonish King Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins), the god-like Beowulf (Ray Winstone) emerges to save the land from the tyranny of the wretched ogre Grendel (Crispin Glover). But while the death of Grendel at the hands of Beowulf (don't worry, I'm not giving anything away here) leads to fame and riches for the golden-haired man-god, in the long run it only leads to the wrath of Grendel's goddess-like mother (Jolie) who deploys a bit less hostile - but equally effective - means of wreaking havoc on the village. That's really about it as far as plot goes. The remainder of the runtime is filled with breathtaking scenes of flying dragons, drunken Thanes, and misplaced Welsh accents (remember, these characters are Nords, not Brits.)

Oh yeah, mustn't forget about the much-hyped nude appearance of Angelina Jolie's digitally rendered alter-ego complete with just enough missing nipple and genitalia to slide in under the family-friendly biosphere of the PG-13 rating. Don't worry guys, it's about as titillating as those personal hygiene and sex-ed filmstrips from Junior High gym class. While we're on the subject of genitalia, one scene that was clearly (or perhaps not so clearly) going for comedic effect, features a completely nude Beowulf battling the much more formidable Grendel. As our supposedly well-endowed hero moves about the embattled Mead House, strategically placed swords, beams, chalices and the like, hide the prying eyes of the audience from Beowulf's much ballyhooed male endowment - that he self-professes to be his most impressive weapon. We expected a slip-up a la Bart Simpson in this year's The Simpson's Movie. Now that would be funny.

Although this is probably Hollywood's most successful rendition of the authorless tale, in a way that's kind of like saying that '70s rock group KISS used to put on one of the greatest rock and roll stage shows. Behind the mask, both are just overly-hyped, mediocre bits (and I was a huge KISS fan).

At times, Beowulf's plot drags like a barnacle-encrusted trawler as Zemeckis never manages to keep up the interest level once the digital eye candy and impressive 3-D effects begin to wear off – do yourself a favor and catch the 3-D iMax version if showing in your area. Digital technology is a terrific tool but will never win out over great storytelling and genuine emotion. Making a human connection with the audience is one of the most important aspects of moviemaking but unfortunately one of the most difficult as well – especially in an effects-heavy film. Filmmakers still haven't figured out how to make real actors actually look like they are interacting with digital creations, and neither have they solved the hollow-eyed empty stares of motion capture characters. And that's about as unhuman as it gets.

Frank Wilkins

Comments

Frank Says:
November 17, 2007 at 19:43

More Beowulf quotes:

"She's not my curse, not anymore."

"Tonight will be different! I am the ripper, the terror, the slasher. I am the teeth in the darkness! The talons in the night! My name is strength! And lust! And power! I AM BEOWULF! "

Frank Says:
December 18, 2007 at 15:23

Many of you have pointed out to me that I made no mention of the 3-D effects of the film in the above review. Well, I really need to mention that I saw neither the 3-D version nor the iMax version. While I'm certain that the 3-D effects were truly amazing, I must ask the following question, "shouldn't the impact of a film rest on something more than the special effects? In other words, shouldn't the story be good enough to carry the movie? I think so... and the story wasn't strong enough in this one.

William Says:
Nov 9, 2008 at 21:44

This is a great movie about the great hero Beowulf who rescues his villagers from a dragon. This is a good movie because Beowulf wants to achieve fame. The movie shows that Beowulf puts his people before himself. He wanted to protect his people. Angelina Jolie is in the movie as the beast s seductive mother. Anthony Hopkins plays the King.
It is a great epic novel that has been made into a really good movie. It has some fighting scenes with swords. Beowulf kills different creatures that come and attack his village. This is a definite movie to be seen because it is a classic novel.

DVD Information

Screen formats: Widescreen Anamorphic 1.85:1

Subtitles: English; French; Spanish

Language and Sound: English: Dolby Digital 5.1; French: Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo; Spanish: Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo

Other Features: Color; interactive menus; scene access; trailer; additional scenes; making-of featurette; behind-the-scenes featurette.