The Alarmist (1997) Rated: R for sexuality and language. Runtime: 92 mins. Director: Evan Dunsky Writer: Keith Reddin (play), Evan Dunsky (screenplay) Tagline: Live Safely. Cast: David Arquette, Stanley Tucci, Kate Capshaw....complete cast Genre: Black Comedy/ Indie
Most memorable quote: "...you don't have to sell crime, it sells itself"
by Frank Wilkins
I happened upon The Alarmist through a recommendation from another movie. You know....where it says, "if you liked this movie, you'll also like The Alarmist. I can't think of what movie it was that suggested The Alarmist but it was a good recommendation. I am usually not a fan of dark comedies but The Alarmist is not only a dark comedy, it is also a successful exercise at building strong characters and introducing us to some extremely hilarious sexual situations along the way.
Tommy Hudler, played bewilderingly perfect by David Arquette, takes a job at Grigoris Security Systems as a fledgling alarm system salesman trainee. He learns all the sales tricks and tactics from the owner, Heinrich Grigoris (Stanley Tucci) and his faithful assistant Sally, played by Mary McCormack. Grigoris and Sally put on a hilarious role-playing scenario that introduces Tommy to the clandestine and underhanded tactics that drive the security alarm business. Here Tommy learns that quoting crime statistics and preying upon the fears of homeowners will increase alarm sales. "You don't have to sell crime, it sells itself."
Tommy falls in love with Gale (Kate Capshaw) a sexy widow many years his senior, who buys a complete SS self-actuating home alarm system from him on his first sales call. In an attempt to bond with Gale's teenage son Howard, (Ryan Reynolds) Tommy asks him if he has a girlfriend. What follows is an extremely funny one-sided dialogue from Howard explaining how his girlfriend sounds like a leaking tire when she has sex with him. Tommy can only respond in peculiar facial expressions as he uncomfortably glances down the hallway and yanks on the knot of his tie before disappearing without having said anything at all.
Tommy develops into a star salesman and is even picked to be the company spokesman in their cheesy late night commercials. He becomes kind of a cult hero in the same vein as the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercials that we all have come to know and endear. Tommy's naiveté and his honest sincerity lead to his success and gain him access into the Grigoris inner-circle where he learns that Grigoris and Sally collaborate in schemes to burglarize neighborhoods, instilling fear upon its inhabitants so that they can increase their alarm sales.
The Alarmist works in several subplots and many enjoyable twists and turns that becomes a hilarious interpretation of the fear of crime that is evidenced by America's need to isolate themselves by fortifying their homes. We see one extremely funny yet not so unrealistic scene of an elderly gentleman who is armed to the teeth with AK-47s, hand grenades and assault rifles and refuses to even consider the need for a more advanced and less emotional means of home security. Later, when the gentleman's home is burglarized we see him searching the house, clad in a bulletproof vest shooting up his own home.
The Alarmist is a good movie that starts out as a funny black comedy with many laughs, yet grows to be a bit too serious in the end. The textual prologue at the end of Belushi's Animal House was funny, but the one at the end of this movie seems very stupid, unfunny and irrelevant to the movie. The sexual dialogue and situations prevent The Alarmist from having any babysitter factor at all as well as making it off limits to viewing with the in-laws. The fact that it deals with death and despair in a humorous manner, gives it a significant Se7en rating. It receives a high macho factor due to Kate Capshaw, her sexy nightgowns and her cute little dimples. I give The Alarmist a 3/5 as a reel rating and even if you are not a fan of black comedies, I recommend that you see this one for the character, the funny dialogue and the acting of the three main leads. Frank Wilkins
The Alarmist (1997)
