by Frank Wilkins
With its latest release, The Haunted Mansion, Disney has completed a theme-park-ride-to-movie sandwich. Too bad the bread is stale and moldy. While the success of this year's surprise hit Pirates of the Caribbean - as the meat of the sandwich - most assuredly prompted Walt's gang to continue the theme-park conversion, the minute I catch wind that Monorail: The Movie is in production, is the exact moment I lose faith in Disney Studios.

Although The Haunted Mansion actually gets off to a fairly decent start, we quickly learn that the most it will achieve is being an occasionally amusing film made for children. Even the movie's biggest draw, Eddie Murphy, isn't enough to save this one from its predictability and formulaic structure. Once again – as was the case in Daddy Day Care and the Nutty Professor films – Murphy is miscast as a sincere and faithful character, whereas he is at his funniest when he can be down and dirty like his 48 Hours days. To be funny, Murphy needs a role more like Donkey in Shrek or Mushu the dragon in Mulan and less like Ward Cleaver.

In The Haunted Mansion, Murphy is Jim Evers, one half of the crackerjack real estate team of Evers and Evers. The other Evers being his wife Sara, played by Marsha Thomason. To make amends for missing his anniversary, Jim has promised to take his family on a weekend getaway to the lake, but can't pass up one last opportunity to land a contract before the vacation begins. Jim and Sara, accompanied by their two children Michael (Marc John Jeffries) and Megen (Aree Davis), arrive at the dilapidated mansion in the snake and spider-infested bayous of Louisiana, Jim assures his family it will involve a detour of "only 20 minutes, tops" [cue the lighting and thunder]. But not surpisingly, a torrential downpour swells the river that in turn covers the road, trapping the family at the mansion for the night.

Our weary travelers soon discover that the mansion is haunted. If the cemetery in the backyard – complete with cobwebs and hundreds of broken headstones - didn't warn our guests, the spooky cadaverous butler, Ramsley (Terence Stamp), should have. Ramsley introduces us to the lord of the manor, Edward Gracey (Nathaniel Parker), who believes that Sara is the key to removing the ancient curse that has been hovering about the place for centuries.

Meanwhile Jim and the kids have become engaged in a dangerous and ghoulish journey, conjuring up spirits and searching the graveyard for lost keys and missing trunks. It's almost as if we get a shameless taste of the sure-to-come video game that will undoubtedly mimic this same theme. This is the part of the movie where Murphy could have really taken over. But once again, his character is not suited for Murphy's brand of contemptuous humor.

It's kind of fun to get to see the things we all remember from the theme-park ride, but I began to grow tired of that by the end of Pirates of the Caribbean. While The Haunted Mansion is purposefully geared towards kids, this slant shouldn't restrict it from mutually appealing to adults as well (see Holes for example). A ho-hum script from David Berenbaum – as the writer of Elf, we know he can do better – coupled with uninspired acting from everyone involved are not enough to overcome the sometimes brilliant special effects. The Haunted Mansion will make its $100 million + at the box office...but we all know that's not necessarily enough.

Frank Wilkins