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Star Slammer (1986) - Blu-ray Review

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Star Slammer (1986) - Blu-ray Review

3 beersLesbians in space!  Well, maybe, I mean – at least – the women do a lot of talking about it.  So, yeah, Star Slammer (aka Prison Ship) definitely teases zero gravity space sex with the nastiest of Hollywood Hookers.  Unfortunately (or...), it can only deliver on hokey hip-shaking moments of B-movie campy bliss, including extended scenes of badly acted harmonica playing in dimly-lit jail cells and a female villain who wears a veggie strainer for an eye patch.

Hell, if those instances of sci-fi cheese aren’t reason enough for you to purchase this release then I don’t know what is.

Oh, but the laser brained B-movie is fun to watch.  It “borrows” from films far and wide and the acting is beyond terrible.  None of that interferes with its prime directive to entertain, though.  And Kino’s handling of Star Slammer’s 1080p debut is definitely an appreciated upgrade.  You can lock up the VHS copies now.  Put them in the vaults. 

Directed by Fred Olen Ray, Star Slammer is completely bonkers with 80s big hair and even bigger boobs.  The flick starts as a land-locked adventure tale, switches to a women in prison flick, and then becomes a rescue story as a group of women prisoners fight against the powers that be.  I just wish the film would pick up the pace a bit and included a bit more mutated “eek eek” rodents and less of “zombie” Mike (Suzy Stokey) and Sqeeker (Mimi Monaco). 

The catcalls and whistles for the “shortbread pop tart”, as Taura (Sandy Brooke) strips off her clothes and is forced into her new prison uniform, do not exactly mean she wants to be a model prisoner … in space.  It just means that Star Slammer, produced by Jack H. Harris (who also produced 1958’s The Blob), is going to be one helluva sleazy slide across the stars as the film tries to one-up Barbarella at its own game.

Just follow the stench, we are told as Ray’s Star Slammer pushes us toward the space prison’s cafeteria.  And we do.  This is a bad, bad, very bad movie.  It does; however, make mouths happy with laugh out loud dialogue.  There’s a lot of camp involved, too.  When “Bolero” makes an appearance on the score as two bad guys get it on and another baddie, also into getting off while being punched, gets whipped by his pint-sized lackey.  Pain induced visions follow.   

The women, some hot and some not so hot, are restless, angry, and often described as “slugs!” by Warden Extene (Maya Gant) who likes to tease her girls with whips and spankings and then, because this might be one of the cheapest productions in spacey soft core history, has them fight against the alien from The Deadly Spawn.  From the effects to the costumes, there’s little that hasn’t been seen before.  Also recycled is the theme song.  Listen closely and you might just hear an obvious riffing of “Raider’s March.”

And then – because Ray has thrown everything else at the screen – there are the midgets on the planet the movie opens on.  With sped-up voices and stereotypical performances, the mad-minded munckins are quickly eradicated by lasers from Bantor (Ross Hagen in recycled Metalstorm gear).  Soon, Taura joins Mike a board a space prison.  Unjustly imprisoned by The Sovereign (Lindy Skyles), the two join forces to make their way off the ship.

And then it is revealed that the girls are involved in the underground movement to reclaim the galaxy for the betterment of all species.  Wait? What!  The film is divided into chapters, which helps to make it more digestible, but none of that explains the floating head cameo from John Carradine.  We also get the promise of more to come…

…yet The Chain Gang Planet never materialized.  It’s only teased as Brooke's tatas spill out of her top in the credits tag.  If only.

Warts and all, Taura is right.  Star Slammer is one hell of a ride!

Star Slammer (1986) - Blu-ray Review

MPAA Rating: R.
Runtime:
98 mins
Director
: Fred Olen Ray
Writer:
Michael Sonye
Cast:
Sandy Brooke, Suzy Stokey, Ross Hagen
Genre
: Action | Sci-fi
Tagline:
Untamed. Uncaged. Unleashed In Space.
Memorable Movie Quote: "Here's where these space-sluts get their's."
Theatrical Distributor:
Jack H. Harris Enterprises
Official Site:
Release Date:
1986
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:
July 11, 2017
Synopsis: Far into the future... a war rages on a distant, desolate planet. Taura (Sandy Brooke, Terror on Alcatraz), a voluptuous Amazonian beauty, finds herself mounting a battle against the forces of evil when she tangles with Bantor (Ross Hagen, The Hellcats), a sadistic government official. Soon she is sentenced to hard labor aboard the prison ship Star Slammer and must prove herself to her young female cellmates before earning their respect and leading them in a daring prison break.

Star Slammer (1986) - Blu-ray Review

Blu-ray

Blu-ray Details:

Home Video Distributor: Kino Lorber
Available on Blu-ray
- July 11, 2017
Screen Formats: 1.85:1
Subtitles
: None
Audio:
English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0
Discs: Blu-ray Disc; single disc
Region Encoding: Locked to Region A

Kino Lorber Home Video presents the schlocky Star Slammer on 1080p with fairly strong results.  The transfer, here with a 1.85:1 aspect ratio, is a solid look at the b-movie.  Colors are pumped up and black levels are provided with depth.  Details are good…which, for low budget affairs like this one, can be problematic.  And, yes, it is a bit lacking when it comes to set designs and effects.  That’s to be expected.  The film has recently been remastered in high definition and, quite honestly, it looks better than I was expecting.  The DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 is neither overbearing nor quiet.  It is effective at handling the dialogue and the cheesy score.

Supplements:

Commentary:

  •  The commentary track provided by director Fred Olen Ray is both humorous and informative.  It is, at times, more entertaining than the film itself.

Special Features:

  • None

Star Slammer (1986) - Blu-ray Review

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